So we’re almost to February… how are those New Year’s Resolutions looking!? Resolutions are funny things humans been making for some 4,000 years when the Babylonians (those cool cats that developed advanced math/geometry/astronomy) celebrated the dawn of their new year by promising to return stuff and pay their debts.
The closer I am to complete Recovery, the more I shy away from a January 1st laundry list of “MUST DOs” I will inevitability fail to achieve. Why feel lousy because I didn’t publish another two books or memorize those piano pieces like I believed I should have? As I inch towards Recovery, I am also more eager to create simple mantas that center on my personal development and to bear in mind that resolutions can be created/changed at any time. Each day is a fresh beginning; an opportunity to reconsider what I need in my life to feel good from the inside-out.
All that being said, here are the two mantras that kicked off my 2021:
“Fun begins with me”
“Slow down, be confident, and be generous”
Having a baby (surprise, surprise!) can really turn up a couple’s pressure cooker. Prior to Flynn, one bad night sleep could put me on the wrong side of the bed for eight hours +. Add dozens and dozens of poor nights sleeps and, well, my positive personality takes a dive. Consequently, I loved creating a mantra to help me remember that it’s on me—not Ryan—to set the mood in the mornings. As for the second bit, my anxious nature is always on a speeding locomotive, and I often realize by 3pm that I’m rushing at top speed to conquer my little world of Flynn, emails, book marketing, groceries, etc. As for confidence, no matter how many wins in my life, my inner critic is always ready and willing to whisper its fav lie—you’re not good enough and don’t deserve to succeed! Lastly, I felt I was harboring negative thoughts about others and intent on offering store clerks and the guy who cut me off the grace I hope others will give me on the regular.
YES, every part of these mantras are well-meaning. I do want to uplift the atmosphere in our house, I want to achieve tasks in a calm manner, I want to remember that I’m a bad mamma-jamma worthy of success, and I want to be generous and kind to my fellow humans! And yet, as well intentioned as my mantras are as they quietly sit on a sticky note on my desktop each morning, I recently realized that their time was up—it was already time to simplify my goals. Consequently, here is my updated sticky note, to be updated and arranged as often as necessary over the next eleven months:
I will be calm and embrace this precious time with Flynn while showing love to others.
Apart from feeling overwhelmed by two mantras, I felt my resolutions would benefit from a more positive approach. Striving for calm feels more pleasant than attempting to be “fun” followed by an admonition to “slow down”. Also, rather than demanding confidence, I felt bravery would help me to remember that, just like you, I am inherently awesome and have the skills and smarts to make my dreams happen!
So, over to you! Are your resolutions kind? Are they intended to make you feel like a better, healthier version of yourself? Are you okay with rearranging, changing, and deleting goals that are not serving you? As you consider your resolutions, please remember that resolutions are meant to be an asset in your life, and that you are deserve to be happy, just as you are!